Makin the switch !

To tumblr.
Woo!
catch me here www.yeahtomboy.tumblr.com
(url is prone to change daily until i actually really like something hahaha)

peace out blogspot ! you've been good to me, but tumblr is funner
hehe
perhaps ill post on the occasion
switch back and forth
but yeah know
the times they are a changin

You'd never believe me if I told you

The things I'd say would blow your ears away

It's a shame how completely blanketed the world is from the governing figures that keep the system strong and empowered. 99% of the world is controlled by 1% of the population and yet they have maintained a state of control and unanimous mindsets that is unmatched in a great multitude of people who are otherwise intelligent and reasonable-minded. The fact is that one thinks he knows enough to get him by and that everything can be taken as is at face value. There could be conspiracies, he says, why, of course, who am I to say there aren't-- probably an untold past story or hidden truth here and there, but why should I be bothered, I live a good life and my heart is content in my luxurious little world.

I tend to think differently.

THE LIES THAT HAVE YET TO BE RIPPED OUT OF THE DARKNESS!

We Stand At The Door Of Redeeming Grace

I'm forcing myself to write (right now) because I feel like this is the only way I can successfully reflect on my emotions in past or present time, and be able to really evaluate them so I can change.

Everything in me is heavy and broken. I have so much burdening my spirit and heart that I am seen as a horrible person on the inside with no control over her impulses to react in anger and impatience. I am bitter, condescending and judgmental. I have so many problems in me it's really staggering and I've internalised them for so long, I don't know what to do with them. They've all become so common to me I've never really stopped and thought about them. This past couple months I've become aware of almost every sin I hold that I need to let go of. Some of them I've been bound to for several years. There has never been a full recovery of these. I've been known to be impatient, intolerant and judgmental since I was almost a preteen. I treat my sister like garbage half the time and I haven't told my dad I love him in sincerity in years.. it's always a mumble, suppressed by fear and uncertainty. I've never known why I feel like I have to shield my love for everyone, especially the ones closest to me. I feel like I need to have a tough exterior (this was built by me when I was younger) and so openly telling people I love them to their face is a near impossibility for me. How sad! Not without going red in the face and looking at the floor and mumbling can I tell my own parents I love them. This should sicken me far more than it does, but I suppose I should be preparing for my upcoming confession within the next week, I hope. I really have no idea how this is possibly going to change for me, since it is all that I am used to. I've literally never fully recovered from any of these sins I've held on to for basically my whole life-- I've certainly felt awful about them, cried about it, heard countless lectures and pleadings from my mother and father to change, when is enough!??! Do I really need a divine intervention for me to truly cease this ruthless person in me? I honestly can't understand why it's so impossible for me to stop doing what I'm doing. If it's really as simple as starting to apologize, taking a step up, shedding my fears and anxieties and changing every day, then I must be the biggest epic fail to walk the planet. I'm a horrible christian, by the grace of God and his near boundless patience I will recover from these hideous baggages of my soul. Ahghgh. I've caused so much hurt. I need to stop. I'm too bound up. I need deliverance. And I have no idea how far I'll have to go to get it.

But one day I wanna know for a fact that I'm saved from it
and those feelings and behaviours will never have domain over me again

I need that to clear my head

My heart is so heavy, where is the light burden of which you speak of?

If I could post an ad of myself to the entire world..

Just to let you all know,
I'm the weirdest person ever,
I am in my own world more than the real world,
And I want to be a pirate when I grow up.
Savvy?















JUST LIKE THIS

Wistful

Everyone I know holds love in their hands
They have the feeling all around them
They are swept up in a world of affection
And I take it all in
Happy and lonely
Lost in my realm of solitude
It's not that I don't like it here
But I could sometimes use
Just a double more
Company.

Love, where shall I find you?

the secret reality

I would never be so hurt over the things you say to me, if you didn't mean so much to me.

But I guess I must have hurt you too.


And I am so sorry.

for shame

you're still up to your old antics

that is pathetic

my head is full.

i don't know how things are going to work out.
i hope i can make it up to you...



i always screw everything up and realise months later that it could have turned out amazingly if it wasn't for my stupid actions, ughhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sick with rage

Why can't you leave me alone
Why can't you step off and realise
I do not bow to you
and your opinions are ridiculous but I don't argue them
but you argue all of mine,
or at least mock them.

I wish i could turn my cheek to you
but you make it so difficult


I need to keep peace a lot better than this..