in my headline
doesn't seem to want to conform to the surrounding frames that enclose the title of my blog
DARN IT!
-sof
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Weighed down
There Are Times
when i feel happy with myself 100%
and when i think i'm one of the lamest people in existance
when i feel like i'm pretty
and when i feel like the ugliest creature alive
when i feel useful
appreciated
wanted
loved
alive
and when i feel useless, uncared for, indifferent and dead.
times when i'm on fire for God and the life he's given me
and times where i've just really forgotten about it for a while.
forgotten about my saviour and feeling influenced by him every day of my life.
times where i get sort of into a spiritual Funk.
hm.
where i really don't think i'm worth anything.
no one's time, no one's love.
just taking up space.
i have a love now and i praise God for it but it worries me so much that they wouldn't love me near as much as i love them.
which is actually, usually always the case in how i feel about people.
i truly think i care about the people in my life more than they do about me.
i suppose this is a Time where i feel like i'm not really worth much.
a phase, a stage, maybe just an off-day or couple of days.
where i really don't care about myself and what i can offer the world or at least the community around me
selfish, yet indifferent.
why am i still writing?
i'm not making any sense.
and i doubt anyone is reading these either.
ah, what not talking to you does to me!!
sheesh.
my eyes are heavy.
-sof
when i feel happy with myself 100%
and when i think i'm one of the lamest people in existance
when i feel like i'm pretty
and when i feel like the ugliest creature alive
when i feel useful
appreciated
wanted
loved
alive
and when i feel useless, uncared for, indifferent and dead.
times when i'm on fire for God and the life he's given me
and times where i've just really forgotten about it for a while.
forgotten about my saviour and feeling influenced by him every day of my life.
times where i get sort of into a spiritual Funk.
hm.
where i really don't think i'm worth anything.
no one's time, no one's love.
just taking up space.
i have a love now and i praise God for it but it worries me so much that they wouldn't love me near as much as i love them.
which is actually, usually always the case in how i feel about people.
i truly think i care about the people in my life more than they do about me.
i suppose this is a Time where i feel like i'm not really worth much.
a phase, a stage, maybe just an off-day or couple of days.
where i really don't care about myself and what i can offer the world or at least the community around me
selfish, yet indifferent.
why am i still writing?
i'm not making any sense.
and i doubt anyone is reading these either.
ah, what not talking to you does to me!!
sheesh.
my eyes are heavy.
-sof
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
everytime i go
to write
or doodle something
the first thing that my hand forms is the phrase 'thank you'.
this happens nearly every day
i don't deserve half the things i receive.
i don't get it.
but i love it.
alas i say
thank you, thank you, thank you...
-sof
or doodle something
the first thing that my hand forms is the phrase 'thank you'.
this happens nearly every day
i don't deserve half the things i receive.
i don't get it.
but i love it.
alas i say
thank you, thank you, thank you...
-sof
Friday, December 12, 2008
Stone.
i am so. so inadequate.
i am nothing, i am so far from where i should be.
i don't love the people i have to love the most.
the ones that will love me more than any person i encounter in my life.
maybe this was something i needed.
this was a slap in the face that was long overdue.
there is such a change that needs to happen.
i am selfish, self-serving and addicted to dominating instead of letting the people who are SUPPOSED to be dominating do their job. i think i own them. i think i can have them do whatever i want, exactly how it fits my schedule, whenever the time calls for it.
i am admitting to the darkest part of my soul and i am bringing it to the light.
my whole life i've known there was something huge blocking my path to leading the most blessed life i could have. though it is still blessed, i have been missing out on the most important factor in receiving God's best insight and blessing.
no peace in the home, i do not get anywhere.
i am beginning to think certain things i have thought were helpful were of no use to me at all.
my heart is hardened towards the most important people in my life.
i am praying earnestly and sincerely to God that he removes this boulder from my path and my mind so that i can go on living normally. peacefully. LOVINGLY.
and all good will follow.
this is a heart of stone.
i have little but enough hope that it will in due time soften.
God provides.
i'm picking up the phone.
-sof
i am nothing, i am so far from where i should be.
i don't love the people i have to love the most.
the ones that will love me more than any person i encounter in my life.
maybe this was something i needed.
this was a slap in the face that was long overdue.
there is such a change that needs to happen.
i am selfish, self-serving and addicted to dominating instead of letting the people who are SUPPOSED to be dominating do their job. i think i own them. i think i can have them do whatever i want, exactly how it fits my schedule, whenever the time calls for it.
i am admitting to the darkest part of my soul and i am bringing it to the light.
my whole life i've known there was something huge blocking my path to leading the most blessed life i could have. though it is still blessed, i have been missing out on the most important factor in receiving God's best insight and blessing.
no peace in the home, i do not get anywhere.
i am beginning to think certain things i have thought were helpful were of no use to me at all.
my heart is hardened towards the most important people in my life.
i am praying earnestly and sincerely to God that he removes this boulder from my path and my mind so that i can go on living normally. peacefully. LOVINGLY.
and all good will follow.
this is a heart of stone.
i have little but enough hope that it will in due time soften.
God provides.
i'm picking up the phone.
-sof
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
the parable of the sower
While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown." When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, "'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'
"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."
-Luke 8:4-15
I had to put this up because a lot of this scripture pertains to a lot of people in my life as of late and what has happened upon them hearing the word of God.
I will not be the seed in the thorns or the concrete path or the rock. I have fallen on the good soil and this will not be changed or proven otherwise. My faith continues to grow unmovable!
stay faithful and true always!
and you will reap a good crop!
-sof
His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, "'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'
"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."
-Luke 8:4-15
I had to put this up because a lot of this scripture pertains to a lot of people in my life as of late and what has happened upon them hearing the word of God.
I will not be the seed in the thorns or the concrete path or the rock. I have fallen on the good soil and this will not be changed or proven otherwise. My faith continues to grow unmovable!
stay faithful and true always!
and you will reap a good crop!
-sof
favourite bands
as of this very moment in time:
thrice (4life)
copeland
the everett
BEAUTIFUL music. I love each and every one of these bands' songs because they are so meaningful and timeless and you can feel the passion and love these people put into their music.
if my plan in life by God is set out to be somewhere in music (which I don't know if it will be or not but I'll still trust it's amazing, whatever it is), then I hope to make as precious music as these groups because they are appreciated by so many people.
as a side note, I AM THE VINE is pretty much the most ridiculous band in Windsor, and though they're gettin hatemail left and right nowadays, I cannot wait til they make it and we are all countin down the days til they're on solid state!
i love my life!
-sof
thrice (4life)
copeland
the everett
BEAUTIFUL music. I love each and every one of these bands' songs because they are so meaningful and timeless and you can feel the passion and love these people put into their music.
if my plan in life by God is set out to be somewhere in music (which I don't know if it will be or not but I'll still trust it's amazing, whatever it is), then I hope to make as precious music as these groups because they are appreciated by so many people.
as a side note, I AM THE VINE is pretty much the most ridiculous band in Windsor, and though they're gettin hatemail left and right nowadays, I cannot wait til they make it and we are all countin down the days til they're on solid state!
i love my life!
-sof
childlike faith
I remember growing up, maybe in grade one two or three, when I first started learning about the Bible when my mom used to read me children's tales before bed. I would be so fascinated by these stories and around Christmas time I was in my sunday school play as Mary in the story of Jesus' birth we performed in our church. I remember the kind of attention I'd pay when my mama would reply to all my questions about Jesus and who he was.
I remember first reading the Bible (actually it was the book of Revelations) and crying myself to sleep in my mama's arms after reading what Jesus was gonna do when he was gonna come back to earth. Heck I think that was the first time I learned that he WAS actually gonna come back to earth! I remember being so frightened, so paralyzed with terror before God that I swore to myself never to disobey him or stray from him during my life and I would go to church every Sunday and fast and pray and have communion whenever I could. I cried and cried and begged God not to throw me in the lake of fire and that I wouldn't be rained on by blood (I took the moon turning to blood quite literally).
this was how I lived my life from when I was seven years old till I was 14.
if only I could go back and attain the faith I had as a child.
It was so pure, so true, so fearful of the Lord that I truly don't believe anyone else at any older age can quite compare to the faith you possess as a small child of God.
Children were MADE to believe in Jesus.
Look at how they fear their parents when they're told to go to their rooms after being mean to their younger sibling. The kind of obeidience and purity of heart and mind is unmatchable.
I can't wait to teach my children about Jesus so I can see the truth shining in their eyes the way my mama saw it in mine.
-sof
ask and you shall recieve
i guess i can now confidently say that there is some hefty amount of truth in that statement!
almost a year ago when i was finally reborn in the Truth (mind you I was raised christian, my whole childhood I believed and feared God, but at the age of 15 i went through some stupid stage where i drank and smoked and crap, terrible time...), I lost about 20 friends within the first week I came to Jesus. not that it bothered me at all; in fact, I was so glad i dumped all these crappy people from my life it felt great to leave behind such bad influences that destroyed who I was raised to be. (lifelong props to mama and tut [da rents] for makin me live my life for the most high God!)
anyways, pretty much ever since then i've been praying for a wave of new, Christian friends who shared my dreams and passions and hunger for truth and the Spirit like I do. and over the span of this year, it has been amazing how many awesome brothers and sisters in Christ I've met!!!
honestly the vast majority of my best and good friends I have today are some of the most faithful, loving people I've ever had the pleasure of being friends with. I am soo thankful for this because without them I wouldn't have this amazing rush in my spiritual life to keep growing and hungering after God with the determination I have never experienced before in my life.
I thank Jesus for hearing my cries for community and companionship and involvement and I have never been quite this happy in all my teen years.
the future...it's blinding!
-sof
almost a year ago when i was finally reborn in the Truth (mind you I was raised christian, my whole childhood I believed and feared God, but at the age of 15 i went through some stupid stage where i drank and smoked and crap, terrible time...), I lost about 20 friends within the first week I came to Jesus. not that it bothered me at all; in fact, I was so glad i dumped all these crappy people from my life it felt great to leave behind such bad influences that destroyed who I was raised to be. (lifelong props to mama and tut [da rents] for makin me live my life for the most high God!)
anyways, pretty much ever since then i've been praying for a wave of new, Christian friends who shared my dreams and passions and hunger for truth and the Spirit like I do. and over the span of this year, it has been amazing how many awesome brothers and sisters in Christ I've met!!!
honestly the vast majority of my best and good friends I have today are some of the most faithful, loving people I've ever had the pleasure of being friends with. I am soo thankful for this because without them I wouldn't have this amazing rush in my spiritual life to keep growing and hungering after God with the determination I have never experienced before in my life.
I thank Jesus for hearing my cries for community and companionship and involvement and I have never been quite this happy in all my teen years.
the future...it's blinding!
-sof
happypants!
i've been having the craziest life lately
everything is so good
obeying God really does have the most amazing benefits
i can't wait for my life to get even more exciting in the next year!
i'm blessed!
-sof
everything is so good
obeying God really does have the most amazing benefits
i can't wait for my life to get even more exciting in the next year!
i'm blessed!
-sof
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
if you have doubts.
"Heaven is full of people whom God created and loves.
Hell is full of people whom God created and loves.
Where you end up is based on your decision on how you live your life.
If you live it for God and serve the world when it asks of you, or even when it doesn't,
if you feed the poor and clothe the naked and welcome the desolate,
Heaven is your kingdom.
If you live it for yourself and serve your wants and needs and refuse the cries for food or clothes or shelter from those who are poor,
Hell is your prison."
-Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis
*I couldn't remember all that was said in this passage, only the first two sentences, I just added on to the jist of what he was talking about. They more than likely are far off from his exact words.*
Let it sink in.
He is near.
He is drawing near to you.
Will you accept his love?
Will you run to his open arms?
where you end up after all this is over
was up to you, and how you lived your life.
the decision is on your shoulders.
God usually doesn't drop down in the middle of your path and reveal himself to you,
so do with freewill what you will.
-sof
Hell is full of people whom God created and loves.
Where you end up is based on your decision on how you live your life.
If you live it for God and serve the world when it asks of you, or even when it doesn't,
if you feed the poor and clothe the naked and welcome the desolate,
Heaven is your kingdom.
If you live it for yourself and serve your wants and needs and refuse the cries for food or clothes or shelter from those who are poor,
Hell is your prison."
-Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis
*I couldn't remember all that was said in this passage, only the first two sentences, I just added on to the jist of what he was talking about. They more than likely are far off from his exact words.*
Let it sink in.
He is near.
He is drawing near to you.
Will you accept his love?
Will you run to his open arms?
where you end up after all this is over
was up to you, and how you lived your life.
the decision is on your shoulders.
God usually doesn't drop down in the middle of your path and reveal himself to you,
so do with freewill what you will.
-sof
a long while
since i've written here, i'm not sure why, i've had some spare time, yet used it for facebook or texting or something.
anyways, lately i've been growing at a wonderfully exciting rate, it's very thrilling,
today is a very happy day for me and i haven't had one of those in a while, so i'm soaking up the adrenaline as much as i can.
however today brought very saddening news... a friend of mine came out and caused a mass amount of heartbreak and slanderous messages from other people directed towards a group of my friends.
i didn't even know how to react when i heard the news.
i'm obviously not going to go into detail on here, but if you know me well, you would probably know.
the time has come for unceasing prayer in these times. it has been prophesied for years that there would be a great falling away from God, and though I have always believed this to be true, it hasn't actually happened to someone so dear in my life. I fully come to acknowledge this as being truth in its purest form, and as devastating as it is, as a follower of Christ i cannot accommodate the Word of God to suit a friend. the truth is set plainly and clearly in front of us, and if someone were to willingly continue on with their deeds, while still professing to love God, it is truly heart breaking.
the hypocrisy of self-proclaimed believers is a lot to bear, and the loss of a dear friend is adding salt to the wound,
but nonetheless I will remain faithful to my God and trust that he will bring my friend back to the road of joy and glory.
i love my friend no matter what and Christ will too.
all that remains is the hope and prayers of the rest of us who believe that there will be good that comes out of all this.
persecution hurts me still, no matter who it's directed to, me or a friend.
but my one friend David said 'we are loving the hate mail',
which basically is saying, 'we are loving the hate'.
it's amazing how strong him and his friends are, i strive so much to be like them, to love my enemies and bless all hate coming towards me, as well as false accusations.
it is all part of the growing process, and maturity in Christ will come in due time.
i can't wait to throw out these milk bottles and get my hands on some solid meat.
be blessed, stay true.
-sof
anyways, lately i've been growing at a wonderfully exciting rate, it's very thrilling,
today is a very happy day for me and i haven't had one of those in a while, so i'm soaking up the adrenaline as much as i can.
however today brought very saddening news... a friend of mine came out and caused a mass amount of heartbreak and slanderous messages from other people directed towards a group of my friends.
i didn't even know how to react when i heard the news.
i'm obviously not going to go into detail on here, but if you know me well, you would probably know.
the time has come for unceasing prayer in these times. it has been prophesied for years that there would be a great falling away from God, and though I have always believed this to be true, it hasn't actually happened to someone so dear in my life. I fully come to acknowledge this as being truth in its purest form, and as devastating as it is, as a follower of Christ i cannot accommodate the Word of God to suit a friend. the truth is set plainly and clearly in front of us, and if someone were to willingly continue on with their deeds, while still professing to love God, it is truly heart breaking.
the hypocrisy of self-proclaimed believers is a lot to bear, and the loss of a dear friend is adding salt to the wound,
but nonetheless I will remain faithful to my God and trust that he will bring my friend back to the road of joy and glory.
i love my friend no matter what and Christ will too.
all that remains is the hope and prayers of the rest of us who believe that there will be good that comes out of all this.
persecution hurts me still, no matter who it's directed to, me or a friend.
but my one friend David said 'we are loving the hate mail',
which basically is saying, 'we are loving the hate'.
it's amazing how strong him and his friends are, i strive so much to be like them, to love my enemies and bless all hate coming towards me, as well as false accusations.
it is all part of the growing process, and maturity in Christ will come in due time.
i can't wait to throw out these milk bottles and get my hands on some solid meat.
be blessed, stay true.
-sof
Thursday, November 27, 2008
i was so alone, and You drew near...
song of the night/source of inspiration: AWI by everett
i just finished reading blue like jazz,
Donald Miller is without a doubt the most brilliant,
funniest,
loveliest, most real, authentic writer i've come across as far as i know right now.
i feel inspired and hopeful for myself and the future character of my heart
and how i know that someday i will be set free to love people freely and accepting everyone for who they are, like Jesus would and does
cause i got it rooted in my heart to be just like Jesus
i'm a long way away yet I've come so far.
it'll be a long,
tiring,
painful journey
but it'll be the most worthwhile thing i could ever do.
also i've realised that for most of my life i've prided myself on being solitary and fine with being alone most of the time, and not needing to be with friends or people all the time.
lately i've been finding this to be completely polar opposite to what i need to be doing, in terms of growing in God, i mean.
in order for me to grow in the Lord and grow as a human being with a living soul and aching heart, i need to surround with people who share my passions and troubles and pains and quirks and love of anything and everything.
i need to bring my spirit into a better spiritual place by feeding off of people who can help me grow far better than what i can try to achieve on my own.
for this reason i write,
because i feel like i don't, or haven't yet met the perfect friends or family i should say (cause as we are followers of Christ, we are brothers and sisters alike)
so i'm gunna pray without ceasing that i will find the best possible Christian friends to be with all the time
companionship.
COMMUNITY.
it's near.
it's coming.
my loving faither will provide!
-sof
i just finished reading blue like jazz,
Donald Miller is without a doubt the most brilliant,
funniest,
loveliest, most real, authentic writer i've come across as far as i know right now.
i feel inspired and hopeful for myself and the future character of my heart
and how i know that someday i will be set free to love people freely and accepting everyone for who they are, like Jesus would and does
cause i got it rooted in my heart to be just like Jesus
i'm a long way away yet I've come so far.
it'll be a long,
tiring,
painful journey
but it'll be the most worthwhile thing i could ever do.
also i've realised that for most of my life i've prided myself on being solitary and fine with being alone most of the time, and not needing to be with friends or people all the time.
lately i've been finding this to be completely polar opposite to what i need to be doing, in terms of growing in God, i mean.
in order for me to grow in the Lord and grow as a human being with a living soul and aching heart, i need to surround with people who share my passions and troubles and pains and quirks and love of anything and everything.
i need to bring my spirit into a better spiritual place by feeding off of people who can help me grow far better than what i can try to achieve on my own.
for this reason i write,
because i feel like i don't, or haven't yet met the perfect friends or family i should say (cause as we are followers of Christ, we are brothers and sisters alike)
so i'm gunna pray without ceasing that i will find the best possible Christian friends to be with all the time
companionship.
COMMUNITY.
it's near.
it's coming.
my loving faither will provide!
-sof
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
what's the prognosis, fertile myrtle?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
"That aint no etch a sketch.
this is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet!"
i love the convenience store cashier on juno
omg
-sof
"That aint no etch a sketch.
this is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet!"
i love the convenience store cashier on juno
omg
-sof
these are a few of my favourite things...
well at the moment anyways lol.
anyways
life is going really really good right now
has been for a few months now
God is so amazing..even when it gets rough I turn to him for all the support and love I need to get by...
but here's some stuff that i've been lovin hardcore recently :
-learning
-wisdom
-salvation
-no more fear of death
-writing
-this blog website
-Lonnie Mackley
-velvet elvis
-rob bell
-The Chariot
-love, patience, grace, and learning them all slowly but surely
-weekends
-local shows
-MUSIC FOR LIFE
-reading books again after a year or two of not picking one up
-discovering so much more in the Bible and interpreting different meanings and stories of things
-all my beautiful family members
-all my amazing friends, new and old
-baby pictures
-chicken and ranch (OMG)
-creationism and learning how to pwn evolutionists in any debate!!!
-Dr. Kent Hovind (google video him, seriously... mind blowing man)
-an increase in self confidence : )
-everything I've learned about myself and God within the past few months/near year
-so much hope for the future
-Winter shopping!
-Chicago !!! NEXT MONTH!!! stayin in a pimp hotel with all my favourite cousins!
-buffet breakfasts
-walking for a long time
-cuddling:] even though it hasn't happened in a very long time...
-waiting for the perfect manfriend to step in [;
-greeeeen eyes
-my teeth/smile
-JUNO and how people think I sound and talk just like her
-abstinence
-PUNS! ANY KIND OF PUNS
-water bottles
-finding gum packs in your purse
-high fiving random people you don't know (i'll do this one day)
-guitar and piano
-sweet, beautiful melodies and vocal harmonies
-harmonizing
-jam sessions
-worshipping the most High God
-phone, texting, you know it
-Christmas being so near!
-SLEDDING!
-Christmas movies!!!, cookies, homemade bread, family get togethers,
church plays,
carolling, hope, love, renewing of the mind
I am happy with my life as of right now : )
I hope it lasts!
woo!
-sof
anyways
life is going really really good right now
has been for a few months now
God is so amazing..even when it gets rough I turn to him for all the support and love I need to get by...
but here's some stuff that i've been lovin hardcore recently :
-learning
-wisdom
-salvation
-no more fear of death
-writing
-this blog website
-Lonnie Mackley
-velvet elvis
-rob bell
-The Chariot
-love, patience, grace, and learning them all slowly but surely
-weekends
-local shows
-MUSIC FOR LIFE
-reading books again after a year or two of not picking one up
-discovering so much more in the Bible and interpreting different meanings and stories of things
-all my beautiful family members
-all my amazing friends, new and old
-baby pictures
-chicken and ranch (OMG)
-creationism and learning how to pwn evolutionists in any debate!!!
-Dr. Kent Hovind (google video him, seriously... mind blowing man)
-an increase in self confidence : )
-everything I've learned about myself and God within the past few months/near year
-so much hope for the future
-Winter shopping!
-Chicago !!! NEXT MONTH!!! stayin in a pimp hotel with all my favourite cousins!
-buffet breakfasts
-walking for a long time
-cuddling:] even though it hasn't happened in a very long time...
-waiting for the perfect manfriend to step in [;
-greeeeen eyes
-my teeth/smile
-JUNO and how people think I sound and talk just like her
-abstinence
-PUNS! ANY KIND OF PUNS
-water bottles
-finding gum packs in your purse
-high fiving random people you don't know (i'll do this one day)
-guitar and piano
-sweet, beautiful melodies and vocal harmonies
-harmonizing
-jam sessions
-worshipping the most High God
-phone, texting, you know it
-Christmas being so near!
-SLEDDING!
-Christmas movies!!!, cookies, homemade bread, family get togethers,
church plays,
carolling, hope, love, renewing of the mind
I am happy with my life as of right now : )
I hope it lasts!
woo!
-sof
Saturday, November 15, 2008
thom freakin' green
is by far the most amazing man of Christ i have ever heard of.
he is absolutely brilliant in every possible level when it comes to reaching out to the hopeless and desolate.
i would LOVE to meet him one day.
he is a blessing to this mess of an earth.
but more than that,
i wanna be just like him.
fearless before men to preach and rebuke and everything God woulda had him do if he was standing right in front of him.
unbelievable.
and to think i still get just a little bit tense when i'm asked what i believe in.
but i'm growing by the day.
watching, hoping, praying.
baby steps.
-sof
he is absolutely brilliant in every possible level when it comes to reaching out to the hopeless and desolate.
i would LOVE to meet him one day.
he is a blessing to this mess of an earth.
but more than that,
i wanna be just like him.
fearless before men to preach and rebuke and everything God woulda had him do if he was standing right in front of him.
unbelievable.
and to think i still get just a little bit tense when i'm asked what i believe in.
but i'm growing by the day.
watching, hoping, praying.
baby steps.
-sof
Friday, November 14, 2008
political correctivity means everything
my sister is making a paki man wii character.
turns out they have a turban installed in the clothing setting.
-sof
i swear i'm done with meaningless posts.
turns out they have a turban installed in the clothing setting.
-sof
i swear i'm done with meaningless posts.
i'm wearing my underoath shirt
that i bought from the show on halloween
i love it
such an amazing night, too
half of them were in drag.
never forgetting it.
the devil wears prada came on in matching sparta suits
mike screams, "THIS! IS! PRADAAAAAAAAA!"
i nearly lost it.
what a fantastic kick off.
although they blew a fuse halfway through still fly, and didn't bother finishing it when they fixed everything
and i was disappointed with the shortness of their set
but whatevs, still amazing.
even though i almost got crushed to a pulp in the pit.
front row sux, NOT!
yeah anyways that was my 2 week past-recap story of the day
hope you're all impressed
-sof
i love it
such an amazing night, too
half of them were in drag.
never forgetting it.
the devil wears prada came on in matching sparta suits
mike screams, "THIS! IS! PRADAAAAAAAAA!"
i nearly lost it.
what a fantastic kick off.
although they blew a fuse halfway through still fly, and didn't bother finishing it when they fixed everything
and i was disappointed with the shortness of their set
but whatevs, still amazing.
even though i almost got crushed to a pulp in the pit.
front row sux, NOT!
yeah anyways that was my 2 week past-recap story of the day
hope you're all impressed
-sof
i have missed
playing the piano so much.
even though i'm HARDLY considered even good.
but, i watched and made notes on a few coldplay tutorials on youtube today,
so i should have fun with that.
youtube is AMAZING.
my sister is playing ping pong on wii and bothering the crap out of me to get off,
i wonder why i put up with her.
-sof
even though i'm HARDLY considered even good.
but, i watched and made notes on a few coldplay tutorials on youtube today,
so i should have fun with that.
youtube is AMAZING.
my sister is playing ping pong on wii and bothering the crap out of me to get off,
i wonder why i put up with her.
-sof
Thursday, November 13, 2008
ah, the nostalgia
before me is an old calvin and hobbes comic book i've been reading this afternoon.
it's funny cause i used to read them ALL the time.
i have about.. what, 7 or 8 collective books comprised of pretty much every comic written
it just brings back so many memories
when i was ten years old i used to sit on my bed and read them all through and through,
and howl with laughter...they're seriously so funny!
then, i would go to my desk and sketch the many gruesome faces calvin would make when his mother made him eat brussel sprouts or whatever kind of misinterpreted concoction she made for him for dinner.
then sprouted my old comic series i had running around that time.
i still have it lying around here somewhere.
all of them compiled into one folder.
i was a pretty artsy kid.
and had a lot of time on my hands, no doubt
but the stories were so cute.
calvin's reckless imagination and hobbes' cynical outlook of life (kinda reminds me of the relationship between stewie and brian from family guy, although more appropriate for all ages) was always followed up by me having a riot reading their stories.
whether they were venturing to alaska in their city park or running from the evil babysitter
they found fun in everything
my dad used to love it too
he was the one that got me hooked on comics, calvin and hobbes in general
me and my father share the same sense of humour.
and personality isms.
i don't know where i'm going with this anymore.
but sometimes i wish i hadn't tucked away my artistic skills for perservered ambitions instead.
who knows what i want to be anymore.
my brother is now a full time cartoonist in his own world.
his desk is covered with drawings of robots and tanks killing each other.
he's downloaded like, 5 programs on my computer that deal with basic animation production.
unreal.. i was doing the same thing at his age.
it's like i'm seeing myself at ten years old living on through him. he's ten now too.
nostalgia.
it's something i feel so often.
feels like home.
-sof
it's funny cause i used to read them ALL the time.
i have about.. what, 7 or 8 collective books comprised of pretty much every comic written
it just brings back so many memories
when i was ten years old i used to sit on my bed and read them all through and through,
and howl with laughter...they're seriously so funny!
then, i would go to my desk and sketch the many gruesome faces calvin would make when his mother made him eat brussel sprouts or whatever kind of misinterpreted concoction she made for him for dinner.
then sprouted my old comic series i had running around that time.
i still have it lying around here somewhere.
all of them compiled into one folder.
i was a pretty artsy kid.
and had a lot of time on my hands, no doubt
but the stories were so cute.
calvin's reckless imagination and hobbes' cynical outlook of life (kinda reminds me of the relationship between stewie and brian from family guy, although more appropriate for all ages) was always followed up by me having a riot reading their stories.
whether they were venturing to alaska in their city park or running from the evil babysitter
they found fun in everything
my dad used to love it too
he was the one that got me hooked on comics, calvin and hobbes in general
me and my father share the same sense of humour.
and personality isms.
i don't know where i'm going with this anymore.
but sometimes i wish i hadn't tucked away my artistic skills for perservered ambitions instead.
who knows what i want to be anymore.
my brother is now a full time cartoonist in his own world.
his desk is covered with drawings of robots and tanks killing each other.
he's downloaded like, 5 programs on my computer that deal with basic animation production.
unreal.. i was doing the same thing at his age.
it's like i'm seeing myself at ten years old living on through him. he's ten now too.
nostalgia.
it's something i feel so often.
feels like home.
-sof
throwing caution to the wind
I love Sons of God so much.
they put me in such a mellow, calm, uplifted and thoughtful mood.
which is exactly,
the kind of mood that suits me.
I'm glad I found them.
they're brilliant folks.
-sof
they put me in such a mellow, calm, uplifted and thoughtful mood.
which is exactly,
the kind of mood that suits me.
I'm glad I found them.
they're brilliant folks.
-sof
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
head cold
being woken up every consecutive hour of the night is a pain.
so sparks the desire to write.
lost complete count
of the days where i have asked for change
begged for love
cried out in hopes of learning the meaning of grace
and each time without fail
turn and spit in your face
by refusing to comply to your will on my heart
only to love the others around me, and You
and by being unable to do the foremost request
i trash all others.
jealousy finds its home in my heart
far more often than compassion or joy
anger has its way in my tongue
and my mouth speaks of hate and lies
my soul lies blackened by my ungodliness.
if this was meant to be
if i hadn't listened, if i hadn't learned
i would not be here where i am right now
i would be more of a vagabond and liar than i consider myself today
You've seen past it, You've snatched me out of the road to darkness
i am now journeying towards light
and it has never,
never quite been this bright
ambitions changing with the wind,
only You know where i'm headed
i have given You complete control,
yet sometimes i think i can plan things out myself
prove me wrong
steer me clear of the left path
my life will never be as fruitful without You at the wheel
a light to others.
a shining stand of hope for the lost
maybe someday
i can glow bright enough
to attract them
to me, to You
and the path i walk now
has never been,
no not quite
never been quite as bright
gone are the potholes and rocks.
i walk on solid ground.
so sparks the desire to write.
lost complete count
of the days where i have asked for change
begged for love
cried out in hopes of learning the meaning of grace
and each time without fail
turn and spit in your face
by refusing to comply to your will on my heart
only to love the others around me, and You
and by being unable to do the foremost request
i trash all others.
jealousy finds its home in my heart
far more often than compassion or joy
anger has its way in my tongue
and my mouth speaks of hate and lies
my soul lies blackened by my ungodliness.
if this was meant to be
if i hadn't listened, if i hadn't learned
i would not be here where i am right now
i would be more of a vagabond and liar than i consider myself today
You've seen past it, You've snatched me out of the road to darkness
i am now journeying towards light
and it has never,
never quite been this bright
ambitions changing with the wind,
only You know where i'm headed
i have given You complete control,
yet sometimes i think i can plan things out myself
prove me wrong
steer me clear of the left path
my life will never be as fruitful without You at the wheel
a light to others.
a shining stand of hope for the lost
maybe someday
i can glow bright enough
to attract them
to me, to You
and the path i walk now
has never been,
no not quite
never been quite as bright
gone are the potholes and rocks.
i walk on solid ground.
the most amazing thing i have ever read
“ Some want to live within the sound of the church or chapel bell;
I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell."
-Sons of God.
this hits home for me.
and maybe it could for you too.
let it sink in.
-sof
I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell."
-Sons of God.
this hits home for me.
and maybe it could for you too.
let it sink in.
-sof
a ceremonial announcement
of my first blog evar!
(well, outside of myspace).
I've always loved to write and channel my imagination and thoughts through words, so I'll be producing (hopefully) intriguing pieces of work on here in hopes of someone coming across them and maybe even enjoying what I have to say.
in conclusion,
I HAVE GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!
but not quite, I'm actually decently sick and I have watched powerthirst for probably the 6th time today. God bless youtube. 400 BABIES! andddddd I'm done here.
-sof
geez, what's it gonna take to get people to laugh around here...you gotta be witty, vulgar AND good looking... at least the first two can be learned.
(well, outside of myspace).
I've always loved to write and channel my imagination and thoughts through words, so I'll be producing (hopefully) intriguing pieces of work on here in hopes of someone coming across them and maybe even enjoying what I have to say.
in conclusion,
I HAVE GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!
but not quite, I'm actually decently sick and I have watched powerthirst for probably the 6th time today. God bless youtube. 400 BABIES! andddddd I'm done here.
-sof
geez, what's it gonna take to get people to laugh around here...you gotta be witty, vulgar AND good looking... at least the first two can be learned.
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