i was so alone, and You drew near...

song of the night/source of inspiration: AWI by everett

i just finished reading blue like jazz,
Donald Miller is without a doubt the most brilliant,
funniest,
loveliest, most real, authentic writer i've come across as far as i know right now.
i feel inspired and hopeful for myself and the future character of my heart
and how i know that someday i will be set free to love people freely and accepting everyone for who they are, like Jesus would and does
cause i got it rooted in my heart to be just like Jesus
i'm a long way away yet I've come so far.
it'll be a long,
tiring,
painful journey
but it'll be the most worthwhile thing i could ever do.

also i've realised that for most of my life i've prided myself on being solitary and fine with being alone most of the time, and not needing to be with friends or people all the time.
lately i've been finding this to be completely polar opposite to what i need to be doing, in terms of growing in God, i mean.
in order for me to grow in the Lord and grow as a human being with a living soul and aching heart, i need to surround with people who share my passions and troubles and pains and quirks and love of anything and everything.
i need to bring my spirit into a better spiritual place by feeding off of people who can help me grow far better than what i can try to achieve on my own.

for this reason i write,
because i feel like i don't, or haven't yet met the perfect friends or family i should say (cause as we are followers of Christ, we are brothers and sisters alike)
so i'm gunna pray without ceasing that i will find the best possible Christian friends to be with all the time

companionship.
COMMUNITY.
it's near.
it's coming.
my loving faither will provide!

-sof