lame

I have felt a very strong and undeniable attraction towards you since the first time I met you. In all honesty, it has really never left me. Though it may have gone dormat for months on end if we hadn't seen each other for that long, whenever we hung out again it would come back, seeping through my veins and causing my heart to slowly start beating that irregular way. You have invaded my thoughts for many, many nights and days and to this day you're still there, cooped up in your long term post. Why you strike me as the perfect person, could be very easy to say. Undoubtedly the most attractive person in my county, and any person I know of who knows you, girl or guy, would agree in a heartbeat. You have a magnetic personality as well, and are wonderful to your friends. Your interests being artistic and musical are also strongly appealing for me. Yet when I put myself in the vision of elevating our relationship to something more, I feel that instinctive rearing away.

In all honesty, dating you would probably be the best thing ever. I would have bragging rights for life, if they really mattered. I would treasure every moment with you. Heck, even if you liked me more than a friend I would be doing backflips. But something doesn't fit there. We don't fit. We could never date because it would form us--at least me--into something unnatural. I would grow and evolve a part of myself that would not be me. And what would be the point of that?

I'm sorry for being so hopelessly attracted to you for all these years, when you've returned the feeling once, as far as I'm aware. I really hope for my sake I stop and move on for good, so this doesn't have to bother me anymore. You becoming closer with one of my very good friends is exciting, but somewhat hurting, because of all this. My head is full of nonsense in this respect, simply because as much as I may be attracted to you, or you me at some point, we would never work out. And I seek ultimate perfection in a relationship and partner.

Sometimes my standards may seem unrealistically high, but I feel it is best that way. That way, I won't be let down. My husband is out there somewhere and he will blow me away... Dear hubb, please find me soon. I can wait. :)