All consuming fire

post commenced on august 21st, i was a tad late on publishing this draft, forgive the warped timing, although its likely none of my blogging minions will have even noticed or cared.

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last night i went to youth, seemed like any other night, lots of my friends came out, it was great to see everyone after almost a week hahah. sat with deline during service and lolled at pastor mike's incredible unorginization on handling his sermon, good times, it was a good message though. good times. good laughs.

then i had a talk with rebeckah on life, faith, and situations where God was turning our lives around. well mostly hers. i discovered how much i didn't observe God at work in my life and what He does on a regular basis that affects every experience and event to come. the very path i walk on is so blurry its amazing how i haven't even bothered to ask where i'm going or for any guidance, yet her faith amazed me beyond belief. it was really something to look up to. her words proved to be a huge light to me and it really blessed my heart and mind and i'm still affected by it. it exposed my laziness and lack of perserverance in the Lord lately and how i really don't care about him at all anymore. i used to be so close, so strong in Christ and have drifted from the narrow road. what is this caused by? wrong friends? television? godless media ive been watching?
undoubtedly it is all because of me, falling into sin and well hidden temptation. thankfully the Spirit who dwells within me still whispers the still small voice to my heart whenever i succumb to these kinds of things, i havent shut it out completely, thank you Grace. i still have hope left. i still have room to turn around.

you're listening even now
at a time of spiritual neutrality and weakness

i am drawing near