hello again

well, i haven't been here in some time. i guess i've been caught up in life, school, tumblr, roleplaying, watching shows and reading a ton of books...

i don't even know where to begin to write :/

i think my self esteem has gone up a considerable amount and i've matured when it comes to friendships and clinging to people and caring about what they think which i can safely say i've STOPPED doing entirely!!!!!!! thank God! life feels so much better this way. so detached. ahhhhhh

but there are days when i feel super shitty and dont think before i speak

i mean i embarrass myself daily but hey that's life and "humility is good for the soul" (well what if you can never get over it? i guess that's a flaw i must overcome because after all women always look back and it holds me back so fuck that i'll learn to drop it)

ugh too much to write at once

and nothing is presently coming to mind coherently

i cant wait for my life to start, it still feels like it hasn't.

i wonder when, and how, and why, and where.

so many things aren't in my life yet and i dont even know what to say about it.

theres nothing to articulate

just plain old me with the most of the same old problems

God give me clarity...