Perplexities

Dear self,
Why do you happen to be so different from the rest of everyone?
Why do you alienate yourself from everything deemed 'normal' in this world today?
Why do you get uncomfortable talking about a plethora of things? Or talking on phones? Or making eye contact? Or confiding in past secrets?
Are you hiding?
Are you afraid?
Are you being pressured into changing into someone you're not?
Or are you someone you're not already?
Does it feel good?
Why have you been made so set apart?
Is it all bad, or is some of it good?
Why does it always make you feel like the world hates you, and you'll never find someone who will love you, or can barely believe that God does?
How do you possess such little faith in Him, when you claim to accept everything He says as truth? How can you fail to put all your trust and faith in Him, the only Being that deserves your trust in the entire universe?
How can you treat your family like dirt when they're all you'll ever need in life? And yet you treat your friends better?

Why do I feel like utter crap about myself lately
This blows