i want my mom to understand the crap im going through. i KNOW that i am always out or on the computer when im at home, and i mess up, but she doesnt understand that i am really tired of it and i know fully well i should be doing something else. im so sick of her bs and how she feels she needs to deal with situations like these. im going to kill someone. i know what im doing, i WILL learn how to end it, but this is just wayyy to fucking much, im so upset.
the fact that i never talk about my real inner problems with people could also be the cause off all this angst.. too much pent up pain.
i cant talk about my problems. theres sooooo much that hinders me from speaking and i dont know what it is, but its strong.
and its been winning for so many years.
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