:(

I guess I do know better.

I'm sorry for letting you all down, for making you think I'm pretentious, a fake and a hollowed out person. I have so much soul but I sell out to this day when I think I've gotten rid of all intentions of doing that anymore. Most of all, I've let You down, and You matter most. You must be so disappointed in me. My future is dwindling before my eyes and I'm so afraid of not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and doing something different, which is what my gut and heart is telling me I'm doing, even though I may be so drawn to this field because it is so appealing in so many ways and levels.

Vision will come. I must accept that. In due time, a wise decision will be made and I will be at rest with myself.

I will lean on You all this time.